You should really read this post…

I’ve been on “should” patrol recently.

It catches my eye every time I read it and stings my ears a little anytime I hear someone say it.

At times, I can tell it’s benevolently offered.

Oh you should try X supplement, vitamin, workout, etc. It’s the best!

You should just call him, you’ll feel better!

It was even in a devotional I have been reading. How I should be behaving towards Jesus.

I’m not sure why…but it makes me want to run the opposite direction.

Should…

It feels heavy, value-laden…like doing anything other than what’s been offered or suggested (or directed) would be downright stupid.

So here’s where I’m landing instead.

I’m using the word “can”.

It’s kind of revolutionary….check it out. In almost any sentence, you can sub out the word should and use the word can instead and it feels lighter. It feels like an invitation instead.

You should pray about that….

You can pray about that.

You should do pilates every day…

You can do pilates every day.

You should forgive so-and-so and fully release the debt…

You can forgive and feel fully free

from the heaviness that comes from bitterness and resentment.

It really turns it all around for me.

I start to think of how I have a body that can move and bend and get stronger…rather than comparing myself to what other people do. I remember that forgiving others (and being forgiven, ahem) is an enormous privilege. I’ve been given a way out of bitterness! What a miracle!

I woke up grumpy the other day. Before I had even stepped out of bed, I was churning to-do lists in my head and worrying about things that are outside of my control. As I put on my shoes and took Lincoln for her morning constitutional, I started to think about my pending time with the Lord. And my nemesis “should” came to knock on the door. How I should be reading in a different spot in the Bible, how I hadn’t done this or that…

So I turned it around. It was around the time that Lincoln’s portion of the walk required a pick-up bag.

As simple as it was, I said out loud “this morning, I can bring my concerns, worries, fears..all of it to the God of the Universe. I’ve been granted an audience with my biggest fan. No one has ever loved me more or done more to earn my trust. I get to talk to HIM.”

It was about this time that I needed to tie up the pick-up bag.

So I said out loud (being my neighbor is fun): “HA! That’s right, I CAN talk to the one who thought of thumbs this morning!! Thumbs! The one who thought of thumbs is waiting for me to share what matters to me.”

And I laughed….as the grumpiness and anxiety and stress dissipated.

So what about you?

Where are you “should-ing” yourself today? Is there a way you could be more gentle with yourself and turn that should into a can?

What CAN you do today?

Me? I’m still hanging out with the Guy who made thumbs. He’s the best.

PS: One suggestion? You can get outside today…even just for five minutes. You might even catch a sky like this one. Or you can get a really silly dog…and put her in a sweater. It’s really up to you.